September 2004 Archives

John Stewart and the writers of the Daily Show have a new book out, "America: The Book". As a book promotion, Stewart recorded a special web video for the Amazon.com website. It's more of a mock Amazon.com advertisement than it is an ad for the book, but that just makes it even funnier. See it at the link above or click here if you want to skip directly to the video.

Here's something I find very interesting about The Daily Show: Apparently it transcends political affiliation. I was talking to a co-worker in Iowa and he was complaining about the liberal media bias and he mentioned John Stewart as an example of a CONSERVATIVE media figure. I was shocked, since as I understand it John Stewart is definitely a liberal and doesn't attempt to hide it. But I had another conversation with a different very-right-leaning friend and, though he did know that Stewart is a professed leftie, my friend praised The Daily Show's equalitarian approach to political mockery. I think it's a great example of (a) how humor transcends political opinion, (b) how people can laugh at their point-of-view being mocked when the mockery is genuinely funny, and (c) how someone can have strong political views yet still provide unbiased news/humor.

Thomas the Tank Engine came to Austin this weekend and he parked at the Austin Convention Center, across the street from my home. From my window I could see Thomas chugging along (he was going back and forth on the old train tracks at fourth street) and every time I drove by I would look over and see a giant blue train face smiling at me. There are real trains that run near the city, and when a train whistle blew in the distance Thomas the Tank Engine would blow his in response. I find the whole anthropomorphic train thing amusing. Rumor has is that Sir Topham Hatt also made an appearance.

My nephew is a big fan of Thomas and therefore I've seen a few of the videos. I was thinking about getting my picture taken with Sir Topham Hatt but there was an hour wait, plus he was charging fourteen dollars. Oh, Sir Topham Hatt, how fame has changed you.

I read a lot of books, so many that I sometimes forget which ones. That's not quite true, I do remember the books, I just don't always remember when I read them or why I read them (if, indeed, there was a reason). I've decided to keep track by listing them all out in their own special sub-section, which I don't expect anyone will care about but me. However, if you are a stalker and are interested in what books I've read and my brief opinions on them, you now have the opportunity.

Note: I seriously do not think anyone aside from me cares about this. But as this blog, like other blogs, is a personal journal in a public arena, I am posting things of personal interest for personal reasons even when the public (or a very, very small sub-set of the public) might be reading. I suppose you all know and understand this already and you don't care when I post something that isn't of interest, you just move on to the next item, which, likely, you also don't care about. For some reason I feel the need to apologize every time I do something that could possibly be interpretated as against blog etiquette... which is odd, considering how much I dislike blogs.

*** Another Note: Link has been fixed! ***

and somebody just used the word "interpretate".

I forgot about the birthday of Sidey.com 2.0 (not the birthday of the website, but of the man behind the website) and in order to make up for my egregious forgetfulness I decided to post both an apology and birthday wishes here for the whole world to see. Happy Birthday Sidey.com 2.0! Sorry 'bout that.

I suppose this question has been asked by numerous folks standing in line at their local greek deli, but what makes something "world famous"? Mostly attributed to decent but, as far I can tell, certainly not globally renowned foodstuffs, one typically sees this bold assertion on items such as the "world famous spanikopita" or "world famous chicken salad" or, as I noticed at the airport yesterday (the airport!) "world famous donuts: best donuts in the world!"

While I might be willing to accept the slight possibility that the Austin airport donuts are world famous (I suppose airport items, being in close proximity to planes, are more likely to encounter some sort of global recognition) I am hesitant to even consider the extreme claim that these supposed-nonpareil donuts surpass all other donuts in the entire world.

Here are my questions:
1) Do these food items asserting world famous status actually have world famous status?
2) If not, do the people asserting world famous status expect shoppers to believe in said world famous status, or has the term "world famous" devolved into a grammatical intensifier, with no connection to its original meaning, now representing something more along the lines of "this item is a customer favorite"?
3) And, finally, what would it take for something to actually be "world famous"? On how many countries or continents must your fame be recognized to move from "famous" to "world famous"? Is it enough for one guy from England to have come once to your store and complimented the chicken salad? And what distinguishes fame from a general agreeance that the chicken salad is good? If a lot of people like your chicken salad, does that actually make it famous (locally or otherwise)? For that matter, what if one time your chicken salad was tainted and killed fourteen people, making internation news? Wouldn't that also qualify it as world famous?

Like "The Story of Lucy Gault", I read "Jesus' Son" for my creative writing class. In fact, I finished it before "Lucy Gault", so this is out of order, but I don't care.

It was a very good book, plus I read the whole thing in about two days. It's fairly short. It's a collection of short stories featuring the same narrator (known only as "Fuckhead"). I feel the stories work better as a whole and this really functions as a novel, though since I never read the short stories individually I suppose I'm not qualified to judge. The protagonist (or anti-hero, really) is pretty much just a drugged-up loser in Iowa hanging out with drugged-up loser friends and all he wants is to be liked. I tend to really put myself into the position of the narrator when I read a novel and therefore when other people say things like, "I just hated this guy" I find myself a little confused and/or strangely insulted. My point being that I really cared about the narrator, and felt that his day-to-day existence was very touching and that there was something more to him than what there seemed to be on the surface level.

I read "The Story of Lucy Gault" for my University of Texas Extension Program creative writing class. (In fact, I finished reading it three weeks ahead of the class schedule. I needed something to read because I was traveling and I was bored.)

It was pretty good, an Irish story of tragedy and life-long suffering, with some star-crossed romance thrown in. Not typically my thing, and I probably wouldn't have read it if I hadn't been assigned the book, but I'm glad I did. It's probably something my girlfriend will like, so I'm going to recommend it to her. Oh, poor Lucy Gault, doomed for her whole life because of one childhood mistake. In some ways she reminded me of Hester Prynne from "The Scarlet Letter", her stigma slowly changing throughout time. Though I haven't read "The Scarlet Letter" since high school, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about.

The last post brings up the question: When is counter culture NOT culture? The term "counter-culture" is semi-contradictory; it really should be counter-established-culture. (It's sort of like how "alternative" music is just as popular as "popular" music. True alternative music doesn't get played on the radio, or, at least, it doesn't get played on any radio stations aside from weird indie college radio shows at 3:30 in the morning.) I suppose that if counter-culture wasn't still culture, it wouldn't be counter-culture, it would just be some random guy in a basement who has a particularly odd lifestyle but doesn't have any impact on the world. Yet, then again, most counter-culture (counter-established-culture) movements probably begin just that way, as true-counter-culture movements, meaning unknown no-impact-on-culture-established-or-otherwise movements, spearheaded by one random guy in a basement who has a particularly odd lifestyle, until eventually enough people have joined him such that it spills out of the basement into the world and becomes an actual counter-established-culture movement. Eventually it may become mainstream enough to be called, simply, culture.

I was going to mention the odd McSweeney's "Operation Ohio" where university students can sign up for a phone call from a famous writer on November 2nd to remind them to vote, (which, I suppose, is a way for the left-leaning McSweeney's to get usually-liberal college students in swing states to register and, at the very least, reminded to head to the polls), but I'm starting to feel there's too much posting about McSweeney's-related topics. MixedMetaphors.net is not some kind of McSweeney's fan-zine.

I mean, I do like McSweeney's. It's a post-modern counter-culture literary movement that has rounded up some of the best contemporary writers and, I think, has changed journals and publishing for the better. But, then again, I'm thinking it's getting about time an even newer batch of writers take up the gauntlet with a post-post-modern counter-counter-culture movement that knocks McSweeney's down a few pegs. Sometimes I think they seem a little too smarmy over there at McSweeney's.

In a previous entry, commenter Matthew had the following to say:
"As excited as I am about the concept, I don't buy in to the free hat offer. I am still waiting for my Oval with Points hat."

What could this cryptic comment mean? The explanation demands attention in its own blog entry.

Q: What is "Oval With Points"?
A: Oval With Points is a sculpture (or, rather, a series of sculptures) by Henry Moore, the English abstract sculptor who lived 1898-1986.

Q: What's it to you?
A: One of Henry Moore's Oval With Points sculptures is located at Princeton University.

Q: So?
A: For various reasons, I used to spend a lot of time on the Princeton University campus, and was very fond of Oval With Points. I was struck both by its beauty, its simplicity and by the inherent absurdity the sculpture seemed, in my mind, to embody.

Q: What does commenter Matthew mean when he refers to an Oval With Points hat?
A: Though I'd forgotten about it until now, MixedMetaphors.net is not my first inane web site. A decade ago, back when the web was in its infancy, I had another site. Yes, it was the Oval With Points Fan Club. The fan club had over 100 members worldwide, sent out monthly newsletters, and was once even officially recognized as a "weird site of the day" by the formerly popular "weird site of the day" site.

Q: The hat? What about the hat?
A: Oh, yes. The hat. Well, you see, I've been making empty promises about MixedMetaphors.net hats. But, as you may have guessed, this is not the first time I've claimed shipments of non-existent hats were on their way. A decade ago commenter Matthew was a member of the now-disbanded Oval With Points Fan Club. And yes, in return for his loyal membership he was promised a hat. A hat for which he is, unfortunately, still waiting. The shipment, it would appear, has been permanently delayed.

Q: Wait a minute! So are there MixedMetaphors.net hats or not?
A: The shipment has been temporarily delayed.

Igor Fyodorovich Stravinsky: Yeah? And?

Pablo Picasso: What about it?

Humphrey Bogart: Can I help you with something?

Ernest Miller Hemingway: Why are you waving a light bulb in my face?

Thomas Alva Edison: Uh, yeah. I invented that you know.

Albert Einstein: I was born the same year the light bulb was invented.

Herbert Hoover: Do you think this might be more interesting if you chose various historical figures who were alive BEFORE the invention of the light bulb?

No.

1. There's a new entry (number 4) to the excel artwork section. I know how much everyone loves excel art, so I thought I'd let you know. It's actually been there for a while, but apparently it went unnoticed.

2. I've removed the guestbook from the site because no one was signing it. It's embarrassing to have an empty guestbook. I'm not sure why people requested a guestbook if they weren't going to sign it. As punishment it has been removed.

3. You may have noticed that my posts have been less creative lately and more along the lines of a) links to other sites, or b) inane rants about Uncle Ben's Instant Rice. It's not because I've been feeling less creative lately, but actually because I've been focusing my creative talents into a new writing course at UT and I don't have as much time for the blog. And, really, because I've been feeling less creative lately.

4. I'm not sure why I'm even posting this update or talking to "you" as if "you" care about what's happening on the site or in my life. But I have a website and a blog and I therefore need to post to it. The strange thing is I constantly post to this site and yet convey no actual information about anything. What's the point? Maybe I should start posting little tidbits about my day-to-day existence. But then my mundane day-to-day existence will become a justification for my blog, or, worse yet, my blog will become a justification for my mundane day-to-day existence.

Sigh. This weekend I'll post another funny list about superheroes and then I'll feel better about the whole blog thing.

Apparently there is a live-action movie version of "The Last Unicorn" in the works. The original animated movie was one of my favorites as a kid. Schmendrick the Magician, somewhat depressingly I suppose, is still my hero.

Some of the original animated version voice talents are returning to play the live actors: Christopher Lee as King Haggard, Angela Lansbury as Mommy Fortuna, and in an interesting statement about aging vs. immortality, Mia Farrow is returning not as Amalthea the Unicorn but as Molly Grue. (Considering how Molly Grue responds to Amalthea the Unicorn when they first meet, it will be all the more poignant considering that Mia Farrow used to BE the unicorn.)

Thanks to my friend An-Lon (who remembered my college computer was named "Schmendrick") for sending me this link and pointing out the Mia Farrow character switch.

This weekend I attempted to make Uncle Ben's Instant Rice and met with disaster. First of all, I don't know which Uncle Ben's product I had, but it wasn't Instant Rice. The directions on my box required twenty minutes of steaming on the stove top, which I don't consider instant. Unfortunately, even though I followed the directions exactly, I burnt it, which not only meant I didn't get my rice, it also meant I had to scrub a pot. Am I the only person in the world who screws up Uncle Ben's (Not-so-)Instant Rice? Probably. Since I really wanted rice, I then attempted to make another batch using the microwave instructions, which, believe it or not, required twenty FIVE minutes! That's not minute rice. That's almost-half-an-hour rice. This experiment was arguably more successful, as I did get some non-burnt rice out of it, but it was pretty soggy and flavorless.

The point is (and I'm sure you're all wondering about my point) I've ordered a new rice cooker from Amazon.com, as recommended by a friend. Which, on second thought, isn't really a point. So, I suppose I have no point. I just felt like talking about non-minute rice.

Back in college a friend of mine snagged the "Codex Seraphinianus" from the rare books collection of our library and kept it around as a coffee table book for about four months before being threatened with expulsion. It's a strange and beautiful encycolpedia with pictures of bizarre creatures written in an indecipherable language. Reading it one is sure that if there was only some way to translate the squiggly script then many great secrets would be revealed. Something reminded me of this wonderful book, so I looked up some links online.

The unofficial Codex Seraphinianus website

Luigi Serafini website

"Viewers are confronted with a blinking cursor. As they type, rooms begin to take shape in the form of a two-dimensional plan, similar to a blueprint. The architecture is based on a semantic analysis of the viewer's words, reorganizing them to reflect the underlying themes they express. The apartments are then clustered into buildings and cities according to their linguistic relationships."

http://turbulence.org/Works/apartment/

You need to try it to understand.

Other amazing projects can be found at mw2mw.com.

ADDED NOTE: You do not need to install any of the 3D VRML tools to use the "apartment" site. That's only if you want to view the 3D renderings of your linguistic apartment. The 2D blueprints are interesting enough.

Apparently, Mel Brooks is producing a new movie called "The Producers", which is a movie version of his Broadway musical, "The Producers", which, of course, is a musical version of his movie, "The Producers".

I find this amusing.