Though this blog is getting dangerously close to becoming a blog that actually discusses normal blog topics, I'm going to have to continue my series of "items containing content" in order to give my view of a recent documentary, "Fahrenheit 9/11". I'm sure everyone else in the world with a blog is writing something about this movie, so what I'm about to say is completely unoriginal and unnecessary and is simply added drivel in a drivel-fueled blogiverse. But, screw you, I'm posting it.
First, a full disclosure: I'm a registered Democrat, though I have a tendency to be quite middle of the road. Persuasive conservative arguments from intelligent people often sway me. I don't particularly like Kerry, but I'm certainly not voting for (and did not vote the first time for) Bush.
I went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" fully expecting it to be filled with misinformation and distorted logic. I expected to be both riled up by the idiocy of our government as well as pissed off by the unnecessarily misleading nature of the film, anger from-and-at both the left and the right. I tend to really dislike propaganda of any form, it usually has the opposite of the intended effect on me, yet couldn't imagine even bad-anti-Bush-propaganda would push me towards a pro-Bush sentiment, so I figured this movie would convince me of nothing but at least serve to get my brain grinding.
For the first twenty minutes or so, this is what I got. Vaguely interesting over-the-top conspiracy theory with a hundred holes in the logic. But then... then something happened that no one seems to be talking about, something surprising and disturbing: The movie started to suck. I mean it. It was boring. Unfocused. It contained many different unrelated too-long boring segments that didn't serve to back up any point, let alone the main point. Was this a government conspiracy movie? A "War is Bad" movie? A "minorities are taken advantage of and tricked into defending our country" movie? An "uncomfortably personal statement about human loss" movie"? I don't know. And, more importantly, I didn't care. Because it was BORING. I can deal with suspension of disbelief, faulty logic, loose ends, bad acting, smarmy voiceovers, unfunny jokes, inconsistent messages, unoriginality, and many other problems (only some of which occurred in "Fahrenheit 9/11"). What I can't deal with is a BAD, BORING movie. I can't even say this movie taught me something, because it showed me very little I didn't already know.
Now, looking at the reviews, it appears that the movie is doing very well, both critically and in the box office. It got "85% fresh" on Rotten Tomatoes. (For those of you unfamiliar, Rotten Tomatoes is sort of like MetaCritic, but with a tomato theme.) The negative reviews all seem to complain about the faulty logic, the ridiculousness of the conspiracy theories, all the things that, frankly, would have made the documentary much better. Everyone is so caught up in the pseudo-politics that no one is talking about the big, fat elephant in the room (no, not Michael Moore, I mean the metaphorical big, fat elephant) (the one that represents something everyone suspects but no one is talking about, in case you don't know what metaphorical elephants in rooms represent). And, to skip the metaphor and get right to it, the thing that no one seems to be talking about but everyone knows (please, don't let me be the only one in the world who knows this... don't let the whole world be as lacking in good taste as I suspect it might be) is that THIS MOVIE SUCKED.
[Note: If anyone can confirm or deny my tragic suspicion about the rest of the world being unable to judge decent film, I'd appreciate comments.]
Thank you for your time.
