I am now officially fascinated with Zigster. According to the Oncor Group's safety FAQ, Zigster "is TXU Electric Delivery's safety mascot for children. Zigster is shaped like a bolt of electricity, and his message in TV ads directed to elementary school children is 'Be safe around electricity.' Zigster's design and name grew out of research with elementary school children."
Have you seen this guy:
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In the commercial, he's a muscle-bound rapping lightning bolt who proclaims "Be alert! Don't get hurt!" It looks like the sort of child-aimed propoganda they used in the eighties. Kids don't buy into this sort of schlock advertising any more, do they? I mean, I LOVE the Zigster, but that's because I have an over-developed ironic fondness for campy dated nonsensical ballyhoo. Do third graders share my appreciation, and, more importantly, was that what TXU Electric Delivery was targetting? Seriously, if I were a kid, I'd run right out and play with power lines after seeing this commercial simply to spite adults for thinking that Zigster would actually appeal to me on any level.
As my girlfriend says, "Don't adults know that no respectable rapper would add a '-ster' at the end of their name? The 'Snoopster' just doesn't sound like a badass."
My girlfriend, who normally refuses to read or comment on my blog, did (at my urging) view my post about Zigster. She had the following to say (which I will now post here without her permission):
"Yes, I read about the Zigster. You know, you're going to think this is strange, but lately I've felt a little attracted to him. He has such a manly look to him, I scarcely remember he's a lightning bolt. And you know how I like arm muscles. Can you blame me though? What girl wouldn't want to make love to a man who guarantees electricity in bed?"
She currently refers to this blog as my "other girlfriend". Actually, she also refers to my Roomba vacuum clearner robot as my "other girlfriend". Apparently, I have a lot of inanimate other girlfriends. In any case, I suppose it is only fair that she harbor an unhealthy obsession for a rapping, cartoon lightning bolt.
hmmm...so how does she refer to your friends? (hopefully you spend more time with your friends than with your Roomba?) If she puts your friends in the "other girlfriend" bucket, I'm going to have to talk to her about what it means to be a girlfriend...I definitely do NOT meet the requirements ;-)
As for Ziggy, he looks like he should be hanging out with the Aqua Teen Hunger Force posse
Wow. I didn't realize that the private and special love I hold for the Zigster would be made public by Jeff in his obviously very popular blog. And frankly, I was a little surprised to see not one but two quotes from emails I've sent plastered all over mixedmetaphors.net. Maybe I should start reading this in order to keep up with what intimate secrets Jeff is revealing about me on his website.
Don't worry Jeff's Girlfriend, Jeff saves the really intimate stuff for a password protected part of the site, and he charges $18.95 a month for access to that. You should check it out, it's really pretty steamy. ;-)
For once, I agree with something that Sidey.com 2.0 did. I think that all future references to "Jeff's Girlfriend" should be capitalized like Sidey.com 2.0 just did. In other words, Jeff should no longer refer to this person (or other entity) as "my girlfriend", as this sounds entirely too possessive.
I also think that version numbers would be exceedingly helpful in this case. (e.g., Jeff's Girlfriend 7.0). That way, if Jeff's Girlfriend were ever to be "replaced" (like Sidey.com 1.0 once was), we would be able to tell that the author was referring to someone else by the version number change.
Note to Jeff's Girlfriend 7.0: I am not suggesting that a "replacement" should occur. However, given all of this talk about Jeff's tendency to have "other girlfriends," it may only be a matter of time before this habit gets him in trouble.
Note to all: I apologize for the use of quotes around single words that weren't quotations...
Hmmm, okay let's get ridiculous about this: I think we need to have a discussion about the meaning of version numbers.
With girlfriends, a change in full number (i.e. 6.0 to 7.0) indicates a "replacement" or an "upgrade", it is unclear to me what a point release (i.e. 7.0 to 7.1) indicates. Possibilities include:
- A notable achievement such as a graduate degree, a Purple Heart, or something similar
- Achieving a higher state of consciousness
BooksOnStuff.com is currently on version 1.7... this would indicate either a very high state of consciousness, or a lot of achievements.
And what does a full number change indicate for ones self? I.e. what happens when you reach BooksOnStuff.com 2.0?
What if a number is followed by a letter? I think this should indicate the presence of a set.
Example:
- Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.0A (his blog)
- Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.0B (his car)
- Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.0C (Nancy)
These are all very important issues. Perhaps we should form a committee.
Note: Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.0C does not exist, Nancy was used as an example only.
She feels used.
I second the need to form a committee to resolve how to refer to Jeff's many girlfriends on this blog.
Also at issue for the committee is the question of how to deal with girlfriends pre- and post-breaks. In the event that a break would result in getting together again (like Sidey.com 2.0 has a tendency to do), would this result in a "point release"? For instance, if Jeff were to get rid of his Roomba (i.e., Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.0D) and then decide that he couldn't live without her and get back together with her, would the Roomba still be Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.0D after the reunion? Or would she then be referred to as Jeff's Other Girlfriend 1.1D?
These are important matters that only a committee can properly resolve.
The question then is how do we properly screen potential candidates for the Girlfriend Naming Conventions (Specifically for Version Numbers) Committee? I also feel that we should henceforth refer to this committee as the GNC(SVN)C.